Sunday, October 26, 2014

A Ho for Health

I get a health boner learning about all things that encompass nutrition and well being.  There's nothing I love more than talking about it with others...but of course, in my own "Jill Thinks Like Jack" type of way. 

So many people unfortunately have the wrong ideas about food because of mis-advertisement by the food industries and a lot of what is eaten is genetically engineered products. It's no wonder everyone is constipated, how do you expect to shit out fake ingredients when there's no natural fibers leading the way out?! 

I'm excited to announce I'm officially enrolled in The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and in 6 months will be a Certified Health Coach. I'm thrilled to turn this life long passion into a professional endeavor. I'm your go to Fitness & Health girl!

You know I love entertaining and making you laugh, hey think about how hard you flex those ab muscles when you're cracking up at my obscene jokes ;)  But I also want to make you feel good when I'm not around to make inappropriate comments, through your personal nutrition & awesome lifestyle.  

I'll be sharing what I'm learning with a few F-Bombs dropped into the descriptions for good measure. We are all gonna get a lot healthier from this pursuit.  Tweet me anytime @JillAnenberg

Friday, October 3, 2014

Jenner VS Kardashian

Hollywood is all about younger, thinner & prettier. So move those booties over Kardashian Klan because your Jenner sisters are finally out of your big ass shadows. I've got the Top 6 reasons you'll be jerkin' it to a Jenner!

#6 Now when Kim is referred to as Mama, it's literally Mother- who's got a kid cock blocking Daddy from those fun bags. With Kendall and Kylie Jenner it's, "Damn Mama, you looked hot on the cover of Seventeen Magazine."
#5 The Jenner sister's might stuff their bra's for the appearance of bigger boobs...but at least it's not for the reasons Kim and Kourtney stuff.  Mama's gotta prevent breast feeding leakage because that type of "wet" ain't sexy.
#4 Not only can you read about Khloe's failed marriages online...but you can also read who she failed with from the tattoos still on her body. #BonerKiller. Kylie Jenner is so young, that Daddy Bruce doesn't allow tattoos. So you've got a clean canvas to make your own personal mess on.

#3 Kendall is moving on up in the fashion world and struttin' her stuff on the cat walk. The only place the Kardashian sister's are walking is back & forth to the nursery at 2am in the morning. No man is getting laid from the tired chick. 

#2 Aside from evidence in the drastic change in the Kardashian's appearance over the years, most likely attributed to Beverly Hills "add ons"... Kylie and Kendall are au natural. They have yet to be injected by a bunch of men and needles.

#1 The next time Kourtney Kardashian opens her legs, baby number 3 will be screaming it's way out of there. If either of the Jenner sister's open their legs, it's a million dollar pay day from Playboy.