Friday, June 27, 2014

Get OFF my Ass!


It seems wherever you go and no matter what you are doing, people don't know personal space.  If you're in line and can smell what the person ahead of you had for lunch, you're too close!  If you get a whiff of their shampoo, cologne or even BO (yuck) scoot the hell back.  Who wants to be that close anyway?

Ok I know who, the perverts wanting to rub their stump of a dick on me in a close line or Grandma bouncing her hacky sack tits against the ass of the youngin' in front of her.
The most obvious "get off my ass" situation is tailgaters. Aside from being irritating it's incredibly dangerous and is the number one cause of crashes.  The only time it's acceptable to ride someone's bumper is in the bedroom.  Otherwise, you're just asking for a road raged rant or flip off!

When at a Pharmacy picking up prescriptions, unless you're accompanying a loved one, it's no one's business who's picking up their birth control, anti-depressants or ritalin. You fuck with one of these people and you're bound to get a hormonal,
hyper-active lash out real quick.

The worst is lacking in common sense and living with your head in your own ass!  Then again, if I don't have to look at your face with that confused dazed expression that you don't get life, maybe suffocate yourself up there.  Might be harsh but you know you agree with me ;)

Love to hear what up close and personal situations piss you off too!
Tweet me at @JillAnenberg



 


Friday, June 20, 2014

King of your Throne!


Poop. There, I said it.  We all do it but not many want to admit it.  Who cares! It's one of the main bodily functions that keeps us healthy, detoxed and feeling like the King of our own Throne.  Think of fiber as your bodies policeman that takes all the bad guys with him as he leaves your ass!
96% of Americans are deficient in the 30 grams of recommended fiber. And with all the processed junk we eat and supersized fast food we are literally full of shit! We gotta supersize our bowel movements. Fiber consumption is your wingman in supporting regularity.  In addition, it helps maintain healthy cholesterol and keeps you fuller longer so you won't be reaching for that sugar spiking donut mid morning that inevitably will leave you feeling bitchy and constipated. Empty calories lead to an empty toilet bowl.


So what foods contain fiber? Any fruits with a seed or a skin.  That's where the goods are!  Make a fun sexy dessert, dip your berries in whipped cream, or even yourself. I don't care, whatever you gotta do to get the fiber in and the crap out!

I've got another meaning to "go green" for you.  Broccoli, kale, swiss chard and even celery! Green goes in, brown goes out.  Expand your horizons with chia seeds, hemp seeds and flaxseed meal...just one Tablespoon of these super foods provides an abundance of protein, fiber- tons of vitamins, minerals and omega 3 fatty acids. I get a health hard on over the nutrition profile of those little guys! 

Beans and whole grains...don't be afraid of complex carbs you need them. Be afraid, hell be scared shitless of missing out on nutritious fiber. Landing you at the risk of diabetes, various cancers, metabolic syndrome, obesity, cardiovascular disease and high blood pressure.  Your new fecal inducing friend can help protect you from the above while doing its business down below.
         Make going Number 2 your number 1 priority!

Friday, June 6, 2014

Toss Your Salad

                         
The days are getting longer, summer's here and that means our outfits are getting smaller. We all want to look hot & fit, feel healthy and reveal lots of skin to be bronzed by the sun!

I'm a huge advocate for exercise of course, but your abs start in the kitchen.  Sure you could just "get busy" on the counter and burn calories that way, however you're gonna work up an appetite so let's eat something nutritious.

Toss your salad! Haha yes get your favorite greens, vegi's & toppings and make a beautiful medley. I'm not the type of girl who gets full on a salad, I totally get it if you need "food", something to sink your teeth into but try starting with a salad.  It will prep your stomach for the main course & tell heart disease and cancer to bug off!

Get your digestion moving and help metabolize whatever else follows. Greens are full of fiber and you know what that means...less crap staying inside of you to bloat and piss you off.  Move over milk these leaves got plenty of calcium, iron, potassium and B vitamins = energy! Get creative and throw in a few different lettuce varieties, who says an orgi is just for the bedroom!  Think outside the greens...add in beans for more protein, fruit to take care of your antioxidants and even seeds. Avocados are full of the good fat, omega's and considered nature's lubricant. Seriously! Google that little tip.

I've got a super easy, healthy salad dressing for you here! Don't ruin your salad by slathering it with artery clogging store bought dressing. Press play...


You just gotta say no to some of your favorite friends and hang with them as a special treat.  I am all for a "cheat meal" it's just gotta be worth it! Tweet me your fave salad combos: @JillAnenberg