Saturday, May 31, 2014

Yankin' my own chain ;)

Every now and again you just gotta yank your own chain.  Honk your own hooters. Fiddle your own flute. Toot your own horn.  Ok you get the point ;)

As you know I'm a quick witted comic and absolutely love to entertain and shock people. I'm a middle child what do you expect!?

People always ask, "What's your story?" or "So what have you been up to?"  Well in 2:40 seconds you'll have a real good idea of the various jobs I've worked, ridiculous things I've said in interviews and adventurous activities I've gone ballsy for in the name of giving you a fun video!

Enjoy! Pass it along to anyone who would enjoy or fuck it, wanna hire me! :)

What's your favorite part? Tweet me @JillAnenberg

Friday, May 23, 2014

Drunk Drowning

Drown in your drink this weekend not in the pool. Having a floater on the top of your cocktail is being the floater in the hot tub- party foul.  With the holiday weekend approaching I want to give you a few safety tips to keep you at the bash and not the bottom of the hot tub.

It is always recommended you swim with a buddy. So what better way to hit on that hottie than asking them to be your "swim partner."  Most people do know how to swim but for those that don't and haven't bought permanent flotation devices bring some fun silly floaties to the party.  Believe me you will look much dumber being carried out by the ambulance!
We all know you're not supposed to run around the pool to prevent falling. Well what better excuse to walk slowly and strut your stuff or take your time flexing your biceps waving to the pretty girl with safety floaties conveniently on her chest.  Don't forget to spray yourself with the white stuff...hey get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about sunscreen! With all that sexy skin exposed the only thing you want to burn is your ass when it's slapped, not 3rd degree burned!

Don't forget your furry friends not that hairy dude you're dating I'm talking the other guy in your life- your dog!! Make sure to keep them safe as well. Inevitably that one douche alcoholic will sneak sips of beer to your pooch and he'll need a little assistance in the pool as well.  Have a great weekend. Be careful. Love to hear what craziness you're up to! Tweet me @JillAnenberg

Friday, May 16, 2014

Ride It Baby!

What could be a hotter sexier workout than alternating up and down while moving your legs at an exhilarating fast pace. People often ask what workouts I do to get my sweat on and indoor cycling is one of my favorites with Flywheel Sports being my #1 choice! Great music is pumping while you're pumpin' that bike, the lights are dimmed creating a mysterious mood and you can't help but breathe heavy.  Alright let's just say it, aside from an amazing romp session spin is the best cardiovascular exercise out there.
It's a fun environment because even though this is an individual workout since your pedaling right next to each other attempting to achieve quick speeds or thick resistance you know your sweat sister to the left is in it with you.  Let go of your inhibitions and let out a holler if you feel it... I always feel it! In the safety of the darkness yelling an anonymous "fuck yeah" relieves an awesome vocal burst of energy.

Some may argue the bikes are close or you're crowded into a room with an ass right in front of you.  Um...if that's not motivation enough I don't know what is. If you're behind "baby got back" that might entice you to push past your abilities...and if you're chasing that bitch with the perfect ass, well honey who said spin class didn't have scenery. 

By the time you've finished the cyclers in the room have created a steamy spirited vibe.  I'd love to hear what your favorite way to sweat is! Tweet me at: @jillanenberg

Monday, May 5, 2014

RHOA, Coachella & Khloe Crazies!!

What's your favorite trashy reality show? Tweet me!! @jillanenberg Ah there are so many & they give us lots to laugh about! I didn't watch the Season but after hearing about the anticipated weave pulling, life threatening drama...I just had to check out the Reunion of The Housewives of Atlanta!! They were puttin' hands on Porsha like they was trying to exercise the Demon out of her. Yeah good luck with that! You know who else should be fired from the show...Andy Cohen! What a shitty mediator. "No, don't fight" said in a meek lame voice! That septor shoulda been shoved up his ass, maybe then he'd be a bit more vocal! I think the attack was just an excuse for a little nip slip!

Oh Coachella and the wild fashions. The Jenner sisters were out to make a statement, that's for sure! Tummy tops & short skirts- love it! But her fanny pack looked like a jewel encrusted dick in a box!And unfortunately for her no one wants her family jewels they want sister Kendalls!

Lastly gotta touch on Khloe Kardshian who most people don't wanna touch with their neighbors dick. Apparently French Montana is filling that big gap Lamar left in her...heart. I think he's sweet. He gave her a necklace with his name on it...well because the other one he gave her kept washing off!  #PearlNecklace

Have a laugh at the latest #SayWhat?! Episode covering all these topics!