Friday, March 28, 2014

Spring "Shitty Friend" Clean

With the sun starting to shine and welcome in the Spring we are all motivated to clean out the shit in our houses that have been collecting dust since the Winter months.  I highly suggest extending this cleaning to your friends that clutter your life as well!  Tell them to shove their bad attitudes where the sun don't shine! 

I'm sure you immediately thought of a few people.  That chick who blames her bitchy mood on PMS...which somehow seems to be all month long.  Or the dude who's a douche whether drunk or sober.  How about friends who don't know how to shut the fuck up. Yeah they don't listen, just want to complain and not find a solution. Well I've got a solution for you, stop answering their annoying calls and replace that earful of garbage with some fun music or even silence.
Sometimes we think because we've been "friends" with someone for a while that there's a little wiggle room allowing crappy behavior or justifying it as, "Oh that's just Kelly, she comes off bratty but is cool when  you get to know her." I don't want to know her!

Often it seems the best kind of friends truly are the furry kind. Always happy to see you no matter how much time has passed, never hold out on kisses and are positive company always! If you don't own a dog, there are plenty in the shelters that can use volunteers to walk or just spend time loving them.  So ditch the bullying buddies and pain in the ass partners and make more time for the sunshine sisters and badass brotha's in your life!

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Reality Wrap Up

How do you keep up with all the bullshit happening in Pop Culture? Well the funnest way is through my web show, "#SayWhat?!" We're throwing these so-called "celebrities" off their pedestals and making them the butt of our jokes.  From some source or another you can't escape ridiculous wanna be news stories about our favorite train wrecks so why not receive it in the form of a roast style joke.

Up to bat and striking out today, we've got Lady Gaga with her disgusting yet not surprising barf filled performance at South By Southwest. The most hated Bachelor Juan Pablo and the doomed fate of his relationship and lastly re-capping The Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion.

So Lady Gaga hired a "Vomit Artist" to puke up a green beverage on her during the show.  I'm actually surprised this was the first time someone in attendance at her concert was inspired to barf... I'd think anyone in the front row with a clear view of her jacked face would be in the same position!

Oh the Bachelor, what a douche! But he made for great TV.  At least he had a good body because he did not have the personality!

Housewives of Beverly Hills is the only franchise I got hooked on. They have more money than God but just can't seem to know where to buy manners. Their reunion episode was lame but still gave us plenty to talk shit about!
Have a laugh at this week's Episode of #SayWhat?!  We for sure push the limit in this one! I fake puke, get dissed by the Bachelor myself and more!

Friday, March 7, 2014

The Hamstring Hover

Due to the fact that I am a germaphobe I realized I actually am building muscle while I pee!  There's no way I'm sitting on a public toilet to feed the meter and catching something in the process.  So this results in many times a day holding a thigh burning squat!

Most friend's personal hygiene is not impressive so imagine the neglect they give their porcelain feces collector.  If they haven't brushed their teeth in a day or two do you trust they've pulled out the toilet brush? Hell no! So squat, hover, strengthen that ass while protecting it from massive potty disease.

I get you might want to sit out of laziness...don't do it! You have the opportunity to kill 2 birds with one piss stream! While squatting you are building not only your quads, but your hamstrings, glutes and a ton of smaller secondary muscles. Not only will you feel thinner after your morning mission but you'll come out a stronger soldier.
Then there's the occasional situation where you just gotta do your business and it doesn't matter how you do it.  As well, some might not care about the germs, pee drops left as a souvenir for your butt cheeks or even loose pubes looking for a new home. I know it's gross and that's why I've been encouraging you to do the Hamstring Hover!

What's your favorite way to tighten you tush? Tweet me @JillAnenberg