Friday, November 22, 2013

Kmart's Jingle Balls!

Kmart released a funny yet controversial Joe Boxer commercial with models jingling their junk to a Christmas tune.  I thought it was hilarious...but if you look on their Facebook Page there's a few people with their Joe Boxers up their ass!

Finally men’s bodies are used to make a joke and these uptight prudes are bitching about it. “My kids are going to see this.” They’re also watching Kim and Kanye’s porno “music video” on Youtube and listening at your door to daddy pound that ass while you tell him your holiday wish list. Lighten up. 

Guess this means every time there's a Blue Light Special at Kmart the male employees have to give 2 for 1 lap dances.

Watch the commercial here and find out why- 
"Every time their bell's ring...a middle aged woman has a hot flash!"

Friday, November 15, 2013

Hotel Sex...Yessss!!!

One of the best parts of traveling is hotel sex! Some people might argue that's one of the main attractions to getting away.  Even if the guests in the room next to you hear, who cares it's not your roommate or anyone that can bitch to you about it.  The more the room costs the louder you should be.  Do the dirty all over that're not serving Sunday dinner on that dining table so let him carve your ass on it. 

It's nice to know neither of you are in charge of clean up. Leave the sheets messy, call down for more towels and relax in hotel robes.  Your water bill is included in the price of admission so continue your weekend of love in the shower. And when you're too lazy to stand bring that party to the tub using up every single tiny soap to make that tub a fucking bubble extravaganza. 

Splurge on a porn that you watch at max volume levels. No kids are interrupting Daddy on this vacation...oh but Daddy's still giving someone a spanking.  Neither of you have to cook up a big after sex feast...rock paper scissors for who picks up the phone to order room service.  Leave the porn playing while you're aphrodisiac delight is never know what sexy bellhop might have threesome on her fuck-it list. 

At the end of the round, put your phones on silent, Do Not Disturb on the door and pass the fuck out with the comfort of no one waking you up...except for your sexy partner tapping you on the shoulder for more.Ok no one's tapping shoulders here.  Happy F#cking!

Friday, November 8, 2013

My First Shower Scene!

Booking an Oil of Olay Commercial was very exciting! Aside from the fact that both my first audition and call back I wore a bikini, the thought never crossed my mind how little I'd actually be wearing during filming.  I've always had the entertainment motto, "I'll do almost any job, with my clothes on."  Well, I did have clothes on...just barely enough to cover the goods.  Guess next time I need to be more specific.

Yep this is my "wardrobe"! WTF right.  Of course, no one asked me to return my wet "clothing" at the end of the shoot.  Maybe one day I'll sell it at a charity auction ;)
It's a good thing I work out, had no butt pimples and am not shy stripping down in front of a 10 person crew on the immediate set.  Not to mention how many more Producers were watching from the Monitors in the other room giving me direction on how to properly suds my arms or legs.

      Grab a loofah, here we go...
              Click here for Commercial 
Tweet me at @jillanenberg

Friday, November 1, 2013

Top 5 2013 Halloween Costumes!!

There were a lot of really great costumes inspired from trends and celebrities this year. You know I had to break them down "Jill thinks like Jack" style! Check out the video at the bottom from my "SayWhat?" Web Show... we go balls to the wall on this one, I'm even in a big tittied costume PLUS there's a kick ass surprise at the end! 

Number 5- Grumpy Cat

  •  Perfect for women who’ve been recently dumped and hate all men...No guy will hit on this unhappy bitch. 
  • If you’re a pessimist or negative Nancy- this face gives you permission to complain about everything all night.  

Number 4- 50 Shades Of Grey

  • Chicks who’ve read the book get horny just looking at you. This guy better get laid or he’s got no game!! 50 Shades of Blue Balls! 
  • Pick up line for this guy, “My costume’s wasted enough paper, I don’t want to waste rubber too…how about I hand cuff and raw dog you bitch!”

Number 3- Duck Dynasty 

  • Finally an opportunity for girls to ask guys, does the drape match the rug. And if it does, no date until he manscapes. Give me a hardwood floor ;)

  • I wouldn’t want to be hungover in this costume…that beard. You barf just one time…and you're decorated in your night's festivities.

Number 2-Sexy Breaking Bad 

  • I think wearing this costume discreetly indicates you’re the guy who’s selling at the party.

  • While you're at it...why not smoke up some "sexy" meth, get arrested by a "sexy" cop, and end up in "sexy" jail where you will seriously be someone's bitch for the next 10 years.

Number 1-Miley & Robin Thicke

  • This costume sold out immediately in West Hollywood...hey it's a guaranteed finger in your ass.   
  • “Don’t give a shit attitude and flat ass” sold separately.

Top 5 2013 Halloween Costume's by "SayWhat?"