Friday, August 23, 2013

Simon's Sneaky Semen

So Simon Cowell is gonna be a Dad.  For someone who always put work first and claimed he didn't want to be a father, all it took was porking his best friend's wife and a birth control lie.

While Lauren’s relationship went south with her husband Andrew, so did she with Simon.   Is it awkward if they ask him to be the Godfather?  Upon hearing the two were hooking up Andrew asked, “Hey Simon, how’s my dick taste?”

Simon says he's excited to be a Dad, in other words- hiring a night nurse, 2 nannies and a new whore to bang when Lauren’s to pregnant to bone.

More babies on the way.  Kim Zolciak is having twins.  As if one more child with her DNA wasn't bad enough.  At least she'll have one set of twins that are real!

Kim said, “I can’t believe I’m gonna be a Mom to 6.” Believe it, your lose vajayjay will remind you. Girlfriend I've got 2 words of advice. Daddy stitch.

What are your thoughts?! Tweet me @jillanenberg

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