Friday, August 30, 2013

Bridesmaids Bullshit!

 
When a girl is asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding it's really exciting.  Until the bride lists all the shit you have to pay for.  We’re talking bridal shower, ugly ass dress, gifts….I thought screw her, you know this ho is gonna end up divorced in 2 years anyway.  But you wanna be a good friend so you end up listening to her bitch about her mother in law for the next 6 months while wedding her planning.

The bride always says, “I know the bridesmaid dress is expensive, but you can totally wear it again.”  Like where bitch?  I’ll wear it when she's crying on my shoulder about her divorce.  And when she thinks I’ve ran out of use,  I’m gonna spray paint it black and wear it to her funeral.  Rest in peace slut.

What’s the point of having a rehearsal dinner?  Like 3 marriages before, are not rehearsal enough. 
 

The secret to a great wedding is in two words: open bar…you know that always leads to open legs!

My last irritation is why do girls always register at the boring department stores for home goods?  Wouldn't you agree it would be a better honeymoon with registry at the Hustler Store. Cause really, how many times are you going to use a crock pot compared to handcuffs and a leather whip. 




Love to hair your wedding pet peeves @jillanenberg

1 comment:

  1. Omg I laughed so loud @"Cause really, how many times are you going to use a crock pot compared to handcuffs and a leather whip. " because. SO TRUE!!

    Really this is b.s....I am so fed up with this ginger right now...... I am an some BS unofficial or honorary BM. please help! I am hurt.

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