Friday, June 21, 2013

To Die For!




I don’t understand why people are against euthanasia, especially for old folks.  They say, “Killing yourself devalues human life.”  But sitting in a diaper of your own shit doesn’t?!  You are being pushed around by an illegal thai chick- who couldn’t even give your lifeless junk a happy ending.  Yeah, that doesn’t devalue your life at all.  Even with all the controversy, Dr. Kevorkian was like the Santa of death. 

If Grandpa lived a good long life, but is suffering and wants to die...let the bag of bones go.  I'd think at that age they have the wisdom to make the decision of what's best for them.  Wouldn't it be great if there was a non-profit,  "Make a final wish foundation... We'll grant your wish, then we'll                                                                kill you."


These old people are taking a bunch of pills, and none which make them high or hard.  Some are even living in a home- it’s like an old persons summer camp for dying people.  At the end of the summer you’re not going home, you’re going to heaven.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Cry Baby...Baby dick!

There is a fine line between a sensitive man showing emotions with a few tears to prove he is manly enough to cry and a straight up cry baby pussy.  You definitely don't want a man to cry more than the woman he is with!

                                       This is just not sexy!

Many dating and reality shows on TV illustrate this point the best.  This week's Bachelorette episode featured just this type of man.  Yes his story was sad, but when you've used up all the Producer's kleenex and you're at the point you feel obligated to apologize for your tears, you've crossed the line.  Yes that cry baby was sent home, but I'm sure Mama's got your hanky ready.

There are few guys that look sexy crying, more specifically just one tear streaming down their face.  Just barely enough to warrant one single manly swipe of that tear.  If a girl has to pull a tissue and your chin is quivering, most likely you're done.

Ok- he can get away with it. One tear. That's it.

Friday, June 7, 2013

Let's Get Dirty!


Do you like to play in the mud?!  Over thirty thousand mud hustlers come out to Camp Pendleton's Mud Run for three consecutive weekends to get down and dirty.  For the first time, the event is streamed live and you can see the action here! http://worldfamousmudrun.com/

I have the honor of being their correspondent & hosting all the race announcements, cool info about the event and all that Camp Pendleton has to offer. The funnest part of my job...interviews with the best mud run participants ever!!  There have been so many incredibly creative costumes, bad ass Mom's racing together and silly groups of friends that live for the dirt.

This year marks the 20th anniversary of the Camp Pendleton World Famous Mud Run!  They created what became an obsession.  They are the OG mud run inventors and will always be the best race out there because we get to run with the Marines, step foot on their awesome base and as expected get a stern motivational yell from the Marine volunteers!  Ooo-rah!  This 6.2 mile run now has four new obstacles added in, featuring a new cargo net to climb! And who doesn't love a man in uniform!  







This dirty event is a party featuring a Filthy Fun Fest! The main stage in the front has a kick ass band keeping the crowd on their feet, a jumbo screen live streaming the mud run in real time baby plus fun interviews, a beer garden, lots of food and even a
 K-9 dog demonstration.  


Just because there's beer doesn't mean the entire family can't enjoy this day together.  Now featuring a Kid Zone with human hamster balls, zipline, a paintball shooting range and more! Made me want to be 6 again!

There's always time for a dance with a Marine in between interviews and him barking orders!


On your way out make sure to stop by the Mud Run store and rock a shirt, take a fun picture with a tank so everyone knows what a bad ass you are for competing on Camp Pendleton's Course!