Friday, January 25, 2013

That Slutty Horse!

I'm obsessed with high adrenaline sports. Especially ones that involve an animal between your legs! Woohoo bring on horseback riding.  Aside from being really fun, there are so many good jokes to be made.  Not only while on the horse but even after because you're sore in all the areas as if you just had a crazy night.

"I'm just gonna ride this baby bare back!"

"In this relationship, I'm always on top, he'll crush me!" 

"Pull her hair & she'll go faster!"

One of my favorite things about horseback riding...the horse's names. They are always given stripper names. Meet Sparkles, Diamond & Saturday night delight. I don't know how this trend was started but I hope it never stops!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Bachelor Bullshit!

We all have guilty pleasure TV shows and one of my favorites is the hussy filled, jacuzzi grinding Bachelor!  It's always fun to watch girls fall in love on the first date bc they bungee jumped and now think they can survive anything together...bullshit!  By the end of the next episode after Model #1 has her first kiss, Psycho #2 is so jealous she might do that bungee jump without the cord...and I'd still watch.  This season is filled with such pretty girls I wouldn't be surprised if there was a first lesbian hook up this season to get Sean's attention.  Again, I'd still watch.

The confessionals are pure gold. The girls are so excited to have all the attention on them they forget what idiots they sound like. Look at Sierra that's the face of a crazy woman. And she's wearing her push-up bra to distract you.  Tierra's made it clear she's not here for friend's and will cut a bitch, just what every man is looking for, a girlfriend that's a total dick!
My friend Stuart and I break down the 2nd episode on Spreecast below. Just click on the link and have a laugh!

 Click here!

Friday, January 11, 2013

F#ck Resolutions!

It's been days since the champagne was sprayed like a race car driver and random kisses were given out at midnight,  I'd be surprised if most people have kept their resolutions, let alone that girl/guy's number you got on sloppy New Years Eve. Hey why not start the New Year with a bang, right?! ;)

The last few years I've made a resolution to make no resolutions.  It's awesome, I always keep it and feel good about myself.  It seems as if the beginning of the year sets us up for bullshit goals.  Why not touch base with life every few months throughout the year so the pressure isn't as high in January.

If you're dead set on making that list, write down attainable goals. Most of us don't sleep enough...why not resolve to catch up on those hours lost partying at all the holiday get togethers.

Who doesn't want to pull out the workout equipment after eating gingerbread cookies, potato pancakes & guzzling obscene amounts of eggnog?! Realistically that Christmas treadmill can take the place of the resolution to keep up with the laundry!

We all want to exercise our dogs more too... Why not outsource some of your responsibilities to other's in your household.

Good luck with your resolutions.  The lower the bar the easier it is to rock those goals! Happy New Year bitches! Share with me yours... @JillAnenberg