Friday, December 14, 2012

Santa's My Bitch!


One of the best parts of the holidays is manipulating the fat man and making him your bitch! I'm talking about Santa Claus!  What's the main thing kids want for the holidays...gifts! And what do parents, as well as people who don't have kids want? Children to shut the hell up and be good! 




All month long we can use our new "BFF" to nip bad behavior in the ass by telling these kids... "Hey little Johnny, Santa's my buddy and if you don't zip it, that stocking will be empty. I'm gonna text him right now you don't deserve any presents."  It's genius and that's why parents have been doing it for years!

Worse could be threatening them with bad gifts! "You keep yelling in the middle of the store and Santa's bringing a Monster to live in your closet until next year."

Turn your child into your new housecleaner. "Santa will trip on your toys if you don't clean them up."

Happy Holidays and use whatever you believe in to your advantage this holiday season! Cheers to drinking egg nog in a clean and quiet home!

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