Friday, November 30, 2012

Bitches Be Shopping!


Ok ok yes, girls like to shop.  However, lots of ladies get off finding deals and use their addiction to their benefit.  We make the fiscal world go round and some women thank the men who pay these bills making the bed go up and down ;) 

But often times items are bought that benefit guys as well.  A cool new tie (that you can use to tie us up with later), a new couch (have fun christening that puppy!) and even better, new lingerie (...no need to explain.)

Guys don't even know the first thing about shopping or gift giving, unless it's a fabulous gay man...lots of times they're selfish gifts.  If dudes ran the holidays, there would be nothing to unwrap under the tree and a handshake deal that they'd buy the next round of beers.

Have a laugh at this video of how I trained a few girls to prep for Black Friday and Cyber Monday!!

                                         Happy Holiday Shopping!


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving...Get Stuffed!

The best way I know to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving is to share some laughter with you.  Laughter of course from perverted yet humorous Thanksgiving pick-up lines.  Enjoy your dinner and hopefully a lil' something sweet for dessert :)

"Can't wait for dinner? I'll give you something to gobble on!"


"Your spread looks amazing. I can't wait to dive in!"
The Hostess will definitely appreciate that you appreciate all her hard work!


"We're not related right, because those juicy breasts are making me hungry."  Make sure she's not a distant cousin before going any further.


"Wanna pull my wishbone? Go on, make a wish and give that sucker a tug."


"There's only one cavity I wanna stuff if you know what I'm saying." (However, a raw carcass is pretty nasty considering salmonella can be a deal breaker!)

                   HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! XO JiLL

 

 

 

 

Friday, November 16, 2012

Movember and Moustache Rides!

You may have noticed some men sporting super sexy or maybe funny moustaches this month.  At first I thought it was to give them more reason to ask girls, “Hey want a moustache ride?” then I found out, it was for much more.


After registering at www.movember.com, for the rest of the month guys let their hair down and groom and wax their stache into a conversation piece. The cause is really great and will get a girl to respect you much more than spirting out the former moustache line.  These guys are raising awareness for issues related to men’s health, primarily prostate and testicular cancer. And we want our men and their balls healthy and strong so if asked nicely, us girls are happy to help out.



At the end of November huge parties are held to celebrate their new facial designs and fundraising.  Whether he grew a flavor savor, chin curtain or a porn star stache I can appreciate and maybe even be turned on by it!  But no, this doesn’t give guys the permission to say, “You can shave me if I can shave you.” 

If you haven’t supported a cool dude yet and want to, check out Movember's homepage and support our non-shaving men's efforts by making a donation at: 
www.movember.com

                                                     Just the Tip:

1) According to the Guinness Book of World Records, in July 1993, Kalyan Ramji Sain of India, had a mustache that measured 133.4 inches long. That's twice as long as me!

2) A U.S. Marine’s mustache cannot be longer than half an inch. But I’m sure he makes up in length elsewhere.

3) Why not get the pets involved

Friday, November 9, 2012

Sexy to Sicko!


As a woman, not always a lady ;) I make attempts to dress stylish & look good. But there are things we do that so easily turn our efforts into a turn off. I agree high heels are super sexy & can dress up any outfit or even lack there of. Who doesn't love a birthday suit in stilettos!? 

The problem occurs when your feet literally tell you to f@ck off & endure the rocky sidewalk instead. Girls wearing heels to the club is hot but walking down the filthy street barefoot holding heels after, not so much.  Was it worth it? What guy is gonna allow those dirty feet in his bed after strutting down the disease filled streets.

Yes we all look better tan! I could use one now on my white ass. The options present either skin cancer or the risk of looking like Snooki. Yikes! A spray tan will turn you into gizmo. Can't sweat, get wet, see the sun...or your adorable exterior is ruined.  Your hands look like you lost a fight with an orange pen!


So what's a girl to do? I say do what makes you feel sexy, paint your tan on if you want to- just don't paint on a fake smile. Because even though we're ladies, we don't gotta take shit from no one. Not even our heels :)

Friday, November 2, 2012

Sandy's a bitch!



The tone of this blog is a little different today.  I'm putting away the sexual innuendo's and sending lots of love and prayers to all of our friends and family on the East Coast that are getting railed by that bitch Sandy! (ok you got me, can't escape the innuendo's) 

In life, there are so many tangible items that can be given to us and taken away so quickly.  However, solid relationships and true friendships, selfless acts of kindness and love are what make these tough times tolerable.  The things that money can't buy hold the most value in the world.  


Donate here:  www.redcross.org

Instead of having that 5th red bull/ vodka tonight, donate that drink money to Red Cross instead.  We both know the girl at the bar isn't gonna go home with you anyways, so tell her, "I'd love to buy you a cocktail but I'm donating those funds to Red Cross tomorrow." Now that might get you laid as well as help out a lot of friends on the East Coast.

In all seriousness, I feel awful for the tragedy that's occurred. I have a lot of best friends that have been affected as well as family that have had their homes flooded and belongings washed away.  Let's all come together and make it rain on them! In the good way with money!!