Friday, October 26, 2012

Happiest Place on Earth...aka StrollerLand!

I went to Disneyland yesterday with my best friend.  I will say, we had an awesome time. Going on all the rides, eating a ton of junk food and slapping Mickey's ass! The one thing that was more prevalent than churros at the park were kids and strollers. Holy shit it felt like a stroller expo!

Disneyland has become a new form of birth control. Crying babies, tots running from their parents and teens asking for more money before they separate from their Dads. No thank you! It's humorous to see these Father's checking out the teenage girls
(happiest place on earth right) who are watching the teenage boys while Mom is watching all of it getting more & more pissed!

 From the moment entering the tram you get cut off by Mother's with double wide strollers hogging an entire row of seats.  In line for rides they're banging your heels and hitting your ankles all just to move you a little closer.  All the treats Disneyland has to offer are awesome, but try finding a table that hasn't been overtaken by "Mom on Duty" with her 6 tots and Mom bag hogging the next table too.

I don't know about you, but there are exactly three rides I want to go on at Disneyland. Space Mountain, Pirates of the Carribbean and It's a Small World.  They always have a bunch of rides closed and yesterday a Small World was a non-existent world. What a bummer. More crying from kids. So in all, I enjoyed the park and upon getting home immediately took my birth control. No strollers in my future for now.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Happy Dog-oween!

Most people love Halloween because it's an excuse for girls to dress like the slutty version of, well anything. And guys to play tricks and get treats.  My favorite part of Halloween is the awesome & adorable dog costumes.

Any puppies wanna slide down my pole?
As much as I love dogs, some people do go a bit overboard and need to get a hold of themselves.  If your dog could talk, do you think having football's as feet would be his first choice?

There's a saying, "As you get older you tend to look like your dog." ...but there's no need to force it.

Did Mama really dress her like frickin' Snooki!?  Is Mr. Boston seriously sportin' fins!

Mom, you promise this will get me lei'd?

Happy Halloween!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Drive Motherf#cker!!

As a person who lives in LA I get plenty of opportunities to practice my
cursing. Sure people drive bad all over the world, but it's heightened
in Los Angeles! No offense to the ladies- but you're not helpin' our case here either putting on make-up, talking to kids and yapping on the phone. Hey I do it all too...but drive aggressively at the same time ;)

Everyone's gotta just pick up your balls, step on the peddle & have some faith in lane changing. A lot of various people have moved and crowded the streets w/ shitty driving skills n habits. Here's a few basic tips for driving.

Just the Tip:
- If I'm graciously letting you cut into my lane, don't take 3 minutes to do it that once you're in front of me I wanna rear end you.
- Turn off your damn blinker!
-Step on the gas, it's a green light Grandpa!
-Don't turn so slow that now I miss the light bc of your crappy reflexes! 
- No stickers! We don't give a f#ck your kids on honor roll. They definitely shouldn't take driving lessons from you.

Drive safe, but don't drive like an asshole.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Locks of Love!

Meet Stephanie :)
 There's nothing sexier or more attractive than a selfless act of love.  We are all blessed with different attributes and my sister Stephanie has the most amazing thick gorgeous long hair.  A few days ago she decided to cut her pride & joy and donate it to Locks of Love.  She pulled her hair into a ponytail and chopped 10 inches off! Guys don't be intimidated by her 10 inches ;)

Someone's gonna miss pulling these babies!

Locks of Love has a great Mission Statement:
"Our mission is to return a sense of self, confidence and normalcy to children suffering from hair loss by utilizing donated ponytails to provide the highest quality hair prosthetics to financially disadvantaged children. The children receive hair prostheses free of charge or on a sliding scale, based on financial need."

 Stephanie looks gorgeous and has given the opportunity to a child in need to wear her hair. That lucky child will be draped with not only her outer beauty but inner as well!!  What an inspirational action that we all can be motivated from. Not saying get a late life circumcision...don't think anyone's in need of a tip, but there are plenty of ways to help other people & it will make you feel so good about yourself too!