Friday, September 28, 2012

One Brow...No Plow!

We all have had the displeasure of seeing a handsome face only to be masked with a catepillar for eyebrows crawling from the top of one eye to the other.  The word eyebrows are plural for a reason, there should be two.  A unibrow is not an attractive feature...just as a woman shouldn't be sporting a moustache.

Girls- we all own a set of tweezers and are good enough friends with some dude that could use our assistance.  Because let's face it, that's a deal breaker.  One brow...means no plow.  I don't care how you get rid of it; pluck, shave, wax, let a little rat nibble it off your face- just get rid of it!   

If you're not taking care of the hair on your face...I don't even want to imagine what your junk looks like!  Don't let unwanted facial hair get in the way of your dating life, start by removing the hair across your nose and you might be removing something sexier than that later!

Not really bro, I think your yard's empty!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Heavy Petting

Whoever said a date needs to be glamorous & mature needs to whip out their whoopie cushion and Converse! There's an inner child need we all have to run around like assholes annoying everyone else with our level of excitement and laughter.  My hubby and I did just that at the LA County Fair last weekend.  Of course the benefit of being of age...frequent purchases from the beer stands!

So many fun games to play, baseballs to be thrown and unnecessary HUGE stuffed animals to be won.  Two of my favorite rides have always been the swings and the big ass slide.  There's a different romantic flare that happens when adrenaline rushes through your body striking your mojo similarly to cheersing a glass of wine.  Guarenteed that won't be the only ride you're sliding down ;)

So on to my all time favorite part of the Fair...heavy petting! The petting zoo was filled with goats, cows, sheeps and lots of saw dust.  They sell little cups of treats to tempt the animals to give you some love...just like buying a girl a drink at a bar.  Unleash your wild side, ditch the caviar- dig into some fried madness and act like a kid with the benefits of being an adult. Booze it up, chance your life on some carni rides, play with some animals, then end the date getting YOUR animal style on!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Flower Power

Guys give flowers. And it's sweet and all, but I think the motive comes down to two reasons.  You're either trying to get out of the doghouse...or into the cat house.  Funny thing is, the flowers got the power and it typically works.  

The size of the bouquet might even be an indication of the size of what you can look forward to putting in your "vase". 

When pretty flowers are given purely as a kind gesture, us women want to reciprocate that with a kind gesture back. So go to the flower shop and have yourself a FUN weekend!

Take it from this douche...I'm sure he's still in the doghouse!