Saturday, December 31, 2011

Ring in the New Year with a Bang!





One thing all guys and girls agree on... New Years Eve is the one holiday we all want to get some action!  As midnight rolls around, we hope the drinks, revealing outfits and cheesy pick up lines ensure a new years kiss.

As a connoisseur of all types of love, whether you meet your partner tonight or have your first one night stand of the new year, let me provide the rants that will get you in their pants.

Here are a few of my favorite pick up lines…
  • Want to ring in the new year with a bang? 
Shwing!

  • So you want to see two balls drop?

  • Say, "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." Then kiss her and tell her you lost the bet.  Double or nothing?!

  • Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you're giving me a serious bone condition.

  • You remind me of the movie "Scarface" cause I want you to say hello to my little friend.

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at pick up lines...nice tits.

  • Can I be the last guy you sleep with this year? We've still got 10 minutes.



Have a great New Year!! Be safe, have fun and wrap it before you slap it! Sending you your first kiss. xo JiLL

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

PJ's or BJ's

Anyone who knows me…or slightly knows me, can tell you I’m not a girly girl. The majority of the stylish things I have are hand me downs, I don’t own anything pink and I’d rather rock a ponytail than use up 30 minutes blowing and curling my hair (insert blow joke here!) 

My favorite outfit is pajama’s or sweats! Hell I’m wearing them now. I will choose comfort over sexy any day and my husband of course hates it.  But I hate that girls always feel obligated to dress to the nines when guys can wear anything & still look hot.  Yes it might be a double standard and totally unfair, but who doesn’t love a man in sweats...aka boner in cotton pants!

As I thought about all this, my light bulb went on just as his boner died. Jammies’s are cute but no one really wants to have sex with cute…well maybe a pedophile, I know- yuck! 

I realized it’s ok to be a little bit girly and step up the pj’s …no more footed jam’s.  Even though the easy access back does come in handy. Sometimes I think Victoria’s secret is that the thong is so far up your ass, you just want to take them off. Hence sexy time!

I think one of the reasons girls act bitchier than dudes is bc they’ve squeezed into a tight dress, are forced to suck in all night, pad their bra to perk up the girls, shave (everything), tan, paint nails and attempt to strut 
(often times buzzed) in 4 inch stilts.  Hey you’d be a dick too! 

I say wear what makes you feel good. Ladies jam out with your clam out and dudes sleep in the buff and show off your stuff.