Friday, April 22, 2011

The Bond of Boobies

When you hear the words bachelorette party, what are the common images that come to ones mind?  Binge drinking out of penis tipped straws, unbriddled drunken debauchery, perhaps even a few strippers?
Yes, yes and yes! The fundamental difference between the guys and girls parties is that everything happens internally. Allow me to us girls, it's known as The Tata Circle of Trust.  Something interesting occurs when you get a group of rowdy girls together celebrating the last nights of their friend’s single hood.  Everyone’s closet lezbo comes out!  There’s not a set of hooters that go un-hooted!  WE become the strippers! (Don’t get me wrong, often times there is the real thing, however, this generally constitutes a greased up- well hung closet homosexual stripper airplaning his “wing” in your face....this is never a turn on, just a story to tell) 

The “lingerie shower” turns into a lady lumps fashion show showcasing your new fun bags Mr. FiancĂ© got you for your engagement present, how thoughtful.

It’s a time to let loose without being loose, well except for everyone’s token slutty friend.  Again, she ends up blowing the stripper for the story.  Sorry ho, ya didn’t turn him straight, who does’t love a free bj?!  We traveled up to Ojai last weekend to celebrate with my good friend and stayed at a spa.  While the majority of the girls participated in a mud bath (I’m bummed I didn’t join after hearing the graphic details of the event), we had a private bathtub photoshoot heating up in our room.  What’s traditionally an innocent bathing routine evolved into a hot, sudsy, boner inducing text message cock tease!

Why do we girls do such things on B-parties…bc we can! Guys don’t wanna take pics of each other’s junk or juggle their balls…but who wouldn’t want to motorboat some melons.

Just the Tip:
1) Always make the bride to be wear something with a dick on her.
2) Text her future hubby a pic with another girl holding her bare tits w/ the caption, “Lezzie experience checked off list.”
3) If you’re gonna play lame games, at least make sure that alcohol's involved!

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